feeling:

i know i have become accustomed to not talking about how im feeling or whatever but im going to lay it all out today.
im frustrated. frustrated because i dont know how to fix anything.
my life seemed to be in some kind of order. i had new friends, and old ones, i was getting along with pretty much everyone. i was dating.
now i have something to worry about. i think.
it used to be a huge part of my life. a part that kind of fell apart. and over the last half year i have been trying to move on. i guess i cant though. the fact that i care obviously is holding me back. but i cant just stop caring either. if i have a chance to bring that something back into my life i think i might have to try. but that means changing my life.
with school coming up it shouldnt be hard. i can just throw myself into the work and the people. i guess ill see what happens with all the other aspects of my life.
right now i guess i just need to decide what i want.
im angry because that something removed itself from my life and now seems to think that its okay to come back.
im disappointed mainly in myself for wanting that thing back in my life.
im happy that that thing may be possible to obtain in the future.
im tired because im sick. i + sleep = now