My Choice

so what is new:

i leave for college in 3 weeks

sean leaves in 2 weeks

i dont see my mother anymore - except on family occasions like tonight - my grandfathers birthday

sean has been spending a lot of his time away from me lately and i kind of wonder whats going on.

breaking dawn - the final book in the twilight saga comes out in like 3 days

i realized today that i have to start packing to move....

rabbit and i are no longer friends - not even speaking

im trying to get everything done before i leave - all the medical stuff that needs to be done - dentist eye doctor obgyn that stuff

i dont know that im as ready to leave home as i used to think - im comfortable here - i know how to be happy here i know how to exist here.
i dont want to be away from sean really - it makes me nervous and sad...im not going to be able to see him as much as i do now and that scares me. he is my life right now and i dont know what ill do without him.

i dont think im as confident as i used to be - i dont remember how to talk to new people how to make new friends - sean has been my only real consistent friend for a while now.

i will get my job back at thanksgiving and christmas

im going to miss this place i think. my home my family. junction in general.

im tired of fighting - with my mom, with my dad, with my sister, with sean, i just want everyone to be happy. maybe ill get that when i leave - everyone happy

i have a lot of people to talk to and make amends with before i leave

starting a new life is hard - its not going to be easy. i wish i could fix everything. i wish i was still receiving a free education and still having a fabulous senior year - instead i get to move 5 hours away 2 hours from the one person who has mattered over the last couple months and try to make it on my own at an expensive school. with teachers i dont know and nobody i really know to be with me. its not like going from elementary school to middle school or from middle to high school. this is worse. i wont know anyone and even if people show up that i do know they are a few next to 20,000 people. i wish i had valued my life here more. i wish i had made the necessary changes and had dealt with the things i hadnt. because now im going to be alone. and i dont know how well i can handle that. i have never been really alone before. not like i will be. and yeah people will visit and ill see sean but this is something completely new to me. something that may change me - who i am and how i deal with the issues around me.

im not ready for this change not this one. im not ready to be alone. im not ready. but i guess ill have to be.

i made this choice now im going to deal with it.

class update

so i got my AP scores back and i received a 4 which mean i earned 6 credits in Art History - providing me with the opportunity to not take Art History 1 or 2

instead im taking Music Appreciation to fill my Arts and Humanities credit!!!!


anyway im stoked...

:D

ttyl

Fall 2008

so i just got back from Registration and Orientation at CSU in Ft. Collins, CO.
i met tons of really awesome people ill be going to school with and got to spend hours checking out the campus.
i also registered for my Fall 2008 classes
im taking

Monday and Wednesday
8am - 9:40am - Introduction to Drawing
1pm - 3:50pm - 2-D Visual Fundamentals

Tuesday and Thursday
9:30am - 10:45am - 20th Century Fiction
12:30pm - 1:45pm - Social Problems
3:30pm - 4:45pm - Art History 1 - this will change once my AP Art History Scores come in later this month. then i can take whatever i want in regards to this time frame - but i do have to take another class.

Friday
8am -9:40am - Introduction to Drawing.

thats it!

how fabulous right?!?
no math
no science

Im so excited!