Suicide

i wonder if people ever notice the signs of a suicide?
the warning signs i mean.
they're usually there.
but even more than that i wonder if people can actually stop someone from committing suicide.
i mean someone who has been contemplating it for a while and has made up their mind.
if someone is truly determined to end their own life can you help them, stop them, change their mind, make them see they mean something to you? can you truly help people or do they just make their own decisions anyway?
i wish i knew.
i wish i knew that i could help someone.
but i dont think you can help someone who doesnt want to be helped.
im not contemplating suicide so dont freak on me.
im just wondering.
and im wondering because of a book i just read.
their are two main characters.
the guy who is listening to the tapes the last words of a girl he liked who committed suicide
and the girl who committed suicide.
throughout the book the reader gains perspective.
what rumors, and actions really do to people.
why reputation matters so much.
because if one guy hadnt ruined her, hadnt accused her of being a slut or told lies about her then all the events that followed over the course of 3 years may not have happened and the girl may no have committed suicide. and it wasnt because she wasnt strong or because she was weak it was because of the circumstances surrounding her. i dont know.
i believe everyone should read the book: thirteen reasons why.
and not just because it was one of the best books i have ever read but because it makes you think. i experienced the whole spectrum of emotions; anger, happiness, laughter, but above all sadness and tears.
i wanted to help her, i wanted the people mentioned to help her, but at the same time experiencing what she experienced and analyzing what she went through i couldnt help but think that there was no other way. i felt completely helpless and defeated.
i cant even really describe it well. i mean just writing about it is making me cry.
how do you help someone who doesnt want to be helped?
how do you fix a problem you cant identify.
the world is an awful place and for the most part its a struggle to get through a day. things happen and over time they build, and you need to end it some how. people deal with that differently. in my case im getting far away from this town. others choose a more permanent solution, suicide. and honestly yes its their action but at the same time did anyone try to help them? did they have anyone to turn to? what did their circumstances merit?
can you blame someone who was helpless, in desperate need of a hero, someone to rescue them?
if your best friend committed suicide, and you didnt know why, but you knew that no one could help them would you be angry at them? would you write them off? would you wonder why? would you care at all? or would you be so caught up in your own grief that you didnt really care why? how does anyone handle that? i thought that it was easy, that it was a permanent solution to a temporary problem but after this book, i know that some problems aren't temporary, that one event, one rumor, one action can ruin a persons hope, and desire to live.
everyone should read it.
everyone should reexamine their own lives and how they treat others.
everyone should try.
try to help
try to reach out
try to talk
just try.
i dont know what else to say . . .