god i have to be the most selfish person in the world.
all im doing right now is hurting people.
im "dating"
i told rabbit and raven that i couldnt be with them.
now raven can only muster contempt and angry behavior toward me whenever we see each other.
and rabbit well if you havent read his blog he says everything is okay but its not. he still wants to be with me and all i do is rub my "dating" in his face.
what was i thinking that we could all be friends?
how could i ask so much of rabbit?
how could i ask him to be my best friend while i dated levi, brandon, and mike?
what is wrong with me?!?
why is it that all i can do is cause pain and agony in those around me?
no wonder brad didnt want me i probably did the same to him.
what i should do is just disappear.
but i cant do that can i?
no again im too selfish to leave my school, parents, friends, teachers, town, and home in order to spare those closest to me.
but i cant go on hurting them either.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!
i dont know how to make rabbit better
i cant fix this on my own please someone tell me how!!!
im begging you tell me how to help.
please.
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2 comments:
Lauren, just let us talk, without gettng mad.. im not mad at u, i understand how that must feel, to realize wtf is going on...
I just feel that if we talk if over, not talk about u and me, but talk about u, and what is happening. i think that it might help, u just have to give me a chance to talk w u without thinking im being mean, or trying to make u feel sry for me. im not, i just want to talk.
just talk.
Damn it...
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