first Brad: i know you will hate me forever and all that......
but i thought i should tell you the truth. these are all lies i told lies i wish i could take back. i am sorry for hurting you.
here are the lies i told you over the course of the last year:
Vampire
- although the cult part doesn't exist, the taking of blood does. Greg Tracy Josh and I all took from each other and gave to each other. we were all tested prier of course.
Grandparents
- my grandparents do have wealth just not as much as i let on. your not the only one to hear this lie there have been several others in fact.
- boarding school was never going to happen i just wanted you to miss me.....
- Logan is a person I know. He is the drummer from a local band, he has a girlfriend and her name is Abby. they are incredibly nice people. I'm sorry i brought them into this.
- we are not members of a country club although i have asked to be. my grandparents are actually really really nice people although close minded and pushy.
Dad
- my father has beat me before. Not recently of course but he has hurt me. Not as often as i said but again it has happened.
Pregnancy
- i wasn't pregnant as we all know. i wanted you to feel sorry for me and be there for me. i wanted you to want me again. this was the wrong way to do that but the thought made me happy. I am truly honest to god sorry for this whole thing.
Me
- i hurt people. not intentionally. but by manipulating them and lying to get what i want hurts them. I did it to you to make us closer. i wanted you to love me and I figured if i wasn't some glamorous, rich, fucked up damsel you wouldn't. i didn't give you the credit you deserved and in return you proved to be a much better, much more amazing person than i ever thought possible. i love you and i always have. regardless of what i have lied about that is the truth. i am sorry for the pain i have caused you and i honestly don't blame you for hating me, its deserved. I want you to be happy and i have absolutely no intentions of ever contacting you again. You are an amazing person and i didn't deserve anything we had.
not everything was a lie please remember that all those memories we talked about the other day were true and happened and i wouldn't trade them for anything. thank you for the last year, it was incredible. and again I am sorry.
now Robert. you have been an amazing friend to me. these last few weeks have been great and i am sorry for manipulating you the way i did. I shouldn't have told you that lie but again i wanted you to feel sorry for me. thank you for everything.
as far as Projekt Revolution is concerned the ticket is still yours. if you don't want it i understand and i wont do anything with it or make any decisions until you know what you want. you can not go or we can go together either way is fine with me. but under the circumstances i am assuming you don't want anything to do with me. just let me know okay?
I am sorry for the way i handled things. i made a mistake and if i could i would take it back. however since i can't turn back time i can only apologize for the things i have done. i will not contact any of you but you are more than welcome to contact me(my phone number has changed it is 985-5028 this is the way to reach me). i would still love to be your friends, but that is not my choice to make. you have all been great to me over the last year and i truly regret what i have done to all of you. i will have to live with this forever.
and since this mistake has caused a lot of hurt i plan to learn from it. i plan to grow and someday i hope i will be worthy of the friendships we have had.
thats all i have to say. feel free to leave comments and tell me what scum i am. i expect it. thank you all for everything and have fantastic lives.
love always
LAurEn DiAne
but i thought i should tell you the truth. these are all lies i told lies i wish i could take back. i am sorry for hurting you.
here are the lies i told you over the course of the last year:
Vampire
- although the cult part doesn't exist, the taking of blood does. Greg Tracy Josh and I all took from each other and gave to each other. we were all tested prier of course.
Grandparents
- my grandparents do have wealth just not as much as i let on. your not the only one to hear this lie there have been several others in fact.
- boarding school was never going to happen i just wanted you to miss me.....
- Logan is a person I know. He is the drummer from a local band, he has a girlfriend and her name is Abby. they are incredibly nice people. I'm sorry i brought them into this.
- we are not members of a country club although i have asked to be. my grandparents are actually really really nice people although close minded and pushy.
Dad
- my father has beat me before. Not recently of course but he has hurt me. Not as often as i said but again it has happened.
Pregnancy
- i wasn't pregnant as we all know. i wanted you to feel sorry for me and be there for me. i wanted you to want me again. this was the wrong way to do that but the thought made me happy. I am truly honest to god sorry for this whole thing.
Me
- i hurt people. not intentionally. but by manipulating them and lying to get what i want hurts them. I did it to you to make us closer. i wanted you to love me and I figured if i wasn't some glamorous, rich, fucked up damsel you wouldn't. i didn't give you the credit you deserved and in return you proved to be a much better, much more amazing person than i ever thought possible. i love you and i always have. regardless of what i have lied about that is the truth. i am sorry for the pain i have caused you and i honestly don't blame you for hating me, its deserved. I want you to be happy and i have absolutely no intentions of ever contacting you again. You are an amazing person and i didn't deserve anything we had.
not everything was a lie please remember that all those memories we talked about the other day were true and happened and i wouldn't trade them for anything. thank you for the last year, it was incredible. and again I am sorry.
now Robert. you have been an amazing friend to me. these last few weeks have been great and i am sorry for manipulating you the way i did. I shouldn't have told you that lie but again i wanted you to feel sorry for me. thank you for everything.
as far as Projekt Revolution is concerned the ticket is still yours. if you don't want it i understand and i wont do anything with it or make any decisions until you know what you want. you can not go or we can go together either way is fine with me. but under the circumstances i am assuming you don't want anything to do with me. just let me know okay?
I am sorry for the way i handled things. i made a mistake and if i could i would take it back. however since i can't turn back time i can only apologize for the things i have done. i will not contact any of you but you are more than welcome to contact me(my phone number has changed it is 985-5028 this is the way to reach me). i would still love to be your friends, but that is not my choice to make. you have all been great to me over the last year and i truly regret what i have done to all of you. i will have to live with this forever.
and since this mistake has caused a lot of hurt i plan to learn from it. i plan to grow and someday i hope i will be worthy of the friendships we have had.
thats all i have to say. feel free to leave comments and tell me what scum i am. i expect it. thank you all for everything and have fantastic lives.
love always
LAurEn DiAne
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